Love: A Conversation
Ephesians 5:21-33 Out of respect for Christ, be courteously reverent to one another. Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ. The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing. So just as the church submits to Christ as he exercises such leadership, wives should likewise submit to their husbands. Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ’s love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They’re really doing themselves a favor—since they’re already “one” in marriage. No one abuses his own body, does he? No, he feeds and pampers it. That’s how Christ treats us, the church, since we are part of his body. And this is why a man leaves father and mother and cherishes his wife. No longer two, they become “one flesh.” This is a huge mystery, and I don’t pretend to understand it all. What is clearest to me is the way Christ treats the church. And this provides a good picture of how each husband is to treat his wife, loving himself in loving her, and how each wife is to honor her husband.
-A Love that is not cultivated is a love that will die.
-Love is intentional, a choice.
How is Love cultivated?
The goal of marriage is not personal happiness but the joint pursuit of fulfilling Gods purposes.
Matthew 18:19-20 If two of you agree here on earth concerning anything you ask, my Father in heaven will do it for you. For where two or three gather together as my followers, I am there among them.”
-If God is love then love cannot be complete without him at the center.
-Agreement can always be found by focussing on the purposes and the presence of God.
The love bank- Deposits & withdraws
-Deposits- Celebrating each other, laughter/fun, expressing in a way they like love(love languages), affirmation, affection, dates(quality time) gifts, acts of service.
-Withdraws- Disappointments, frustrations, fighting, lying, simply the lack of deposits.
Amos 3:3 Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?
-This is the way I FEEL VS This is how you ARE.
-Feelings are a indicator of attention needed not a decision rendered.
-55% of communication is body language, 38% is the tone of voice, and 7% is the actual words spoken
3. The Rhythm of Love and Respect
“When a wife feels loved she respects her husband, when a husband feels respected he expresses love.”
Love IS worth fighting for
Romans 12:10 Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other.